A work at home mom

There's just something about the 1950's.  By something I mean, if I could, I think I'd choose to live then.  I think the values of the time just suit me so well.  Things seemed simple.  I like the idea of housewives wearing dresses under aprons and pearls to top it off.  I like the idea of someone being at home during the day to take care of the (many) children. I like the idea of someone being home to cook and clean.  I like the idea of greeting Daddy when he comes home from work.  I like the idea of hardly any tv, no computers and kids using their imagination to play outside.  I like so many things about the good old days.

Of course, every time I start blabbering away about how I think I was born in the wrong decade, my hubs reminds me about how good we have it now.  To a guy that means technology, modern medicine, and the only draft he knows is that of an alcoholic beverage.  When he reminds me of these minor things, I see his point. I know things weren't always simple back then, but those pearls......they just get me every time!

So as I sit here on a break at work, I'm conflicted.  No, not just conflicted about which era is better, conflicted about being that housewife.  Right now, I shouldn't complain.  I have the greatest job and feel so lucky to be able to bring in at least a little money so we can save up for our future.  But yesterday I played my favorite role in life to play: 1950s housewife.....minus the pearls....and dress.....and apron.  But still, I played it up like crazy.  I cleaned, cooked (yes, my least favorite of the many housewife duties, but I'm getting there..) sewed (my newest hobby, thank you pinterest), cared for my little one, and did tons of house projects.  So I suppose you could say I'm just going through a little housewife withdrawal right now.  Sitting at work, away from my baby, probably isn't helping.  But I'll get over it.  And in a year, I will transition from working mommy, to work at home mommy.  Sounds good, right?  Who knows, I might even wear the dress and the apron that I sew myself and of course top it off with my favorite class act item: pearls. 

But until then, I just have to wait.  I have to be patient and know that everything happens for a reason.  It's just so hard because I feel like Jude is growing up so fast and I'm not always there to see it.  I know I'm the first person in the universe to ever have this problem, so it's very hard to explain this feeling.......or not.  But it still doesn't make it any easier!  The reasons for being an emotional mess right now include, but are not limited to, the following:

•   I cleaned out Jude's drawers and put away the clothes that don't fit anymore.  With all of his weight gain issues at the beginning I thought this day would never come.  Then it did, and now I'm sad.  why, oh why, does life always work like that?
• He's trying to hold his own ba ba milk (yes, nerd alert, we do call it that)........and it's just so darn cute
• He's rolling over like crazy and attempting to crawl........and it's just so darn cute
• He's noticing all of his dangling friends and tries to grab them......which is just so darn cute
• He notices my face and talks to me while grabbing at it....which sometimes hurts, but mostly is just so darn cute
• He laughs when he's being changed which led us to find out he's ticklish......and it's just so darn cute
• He's got the most easy-going, happy personality in the world......and it's just so darn cute! 

 Oversleeping this morning and rushing like crazy and not being able to squeeze in a feeding before taking him to my mom's house probably doesn't help the already overwhelming feeling of trying to juggle working and being a mom.

So as I'm sitting here at work, I carry my phone around in hopes that I'll get a little text from the madre with a so darn cute pic of my little one.  Because of course those make my day.  And then it hits me: 

Did they have those in the 50s???